


Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

by erciareyes



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Lardo tries to figure out what's wrong with Shitty, Problem-Solving, Shitty tries to figure out what's wrong too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 04:31:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7299655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erciareyes/pseuds/erciareyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on what happened between Lardo & Shitty after his little outburst towards Jack and how Shitty tries to make sense of the things he did and said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

**Author's Note:**

> So, I guess the update killed us all, yay. If you are like me and you need some fluff (and worry intensely about Shitty Knight) then I hope you enjoy this. :)
> 
> As always, you can find me on Tumblr, I am 'shittyslardo'.

He knows something is off as soon as Jack steps out of the door and Lardo just looks at him like she expects him to say something. He knows he did wrong, he knows he shouldn’t have put Jack on the spot, shouldn’t have said what he said...but he can’t change it now and his heart clenches.

For being the one to always complain about generic white boy douches he was pretty good at being one sometimes.

He moves his hand through his hair, still short and cut in Harvard style. He hates this, he hates all of it. He wants his long hair back and his time at Samwell. He wants to turn back the clock by a year and do it all again, tell his dad off and do whatever _he_ wants.

But he can’t. He’s already at Harvard and despite his hatred for the school he knows it’s the best way to fulfill his goals. He wants to be a lawyer, he wants to change the world.

 _Maybe I should start with myself before I take on the world_ , he thinks and sighs. 

Lardo puts down her red solo cup and takes his hand in hers. With a light pull she drags him behind her to the stairs.

“Come on, Shits,” she says, so he does, trails after her without resistance.

There are people everywhere, some are making out on the stairs and he spots Farmer sitting on Chowder’s lap, sucking at his lips like her life depends on it. Chowder doesn’t seem to mind that at all.

The way up to his- no, Lardo’s room is pretty short and neither of them says a word until the door is closed behind them.

There are a few pictures on the wall, a lot of photographs scattered around the room and there’s art equipment like brushes and some sketches everywhere but other than that it still looks the same to him. It looks like home. It _feels_ like home.

Shitty stands in the middle of the room, unsure what to do or say. He wants to say so much but it’s the same problem as always: He knows a lot of words but can’t ever use any of them to describe what he feels. He can talk for hours, have discussions about world-moving topics with strangers in a bar but when it comes to his own emotions he’s clueless.

“I fucked up,” he says after what seems like an eternity of silence. “I really fucked up.”

Lardo sits down on the bed in front of him. She simply nods.

“Yeah, you did.”

It’s not what Shitty wants to hear but then again Lardo’s never been there to tell him what he wants to hear. She tells him what he _needs_ to hear. She’d never lie to him, not even to make him feel better.

“Fuck, Lardo, I...I don’t know why I did that, okay? I mean, I do but I...I don’t know why I said that last sentence and I don’t know why I did that in the middle of a freaking kegster. I have no idea.”

Lardo shrugs. “You’re drunk.”

“We both know that’s not true,” he sighs. “It was a nice save, though, thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.”

He’s lets out another breath and starts pacing up and down the room. He’s frustrated and angry, with himself not with anyone else.

He thinks about everything that Jack and him have been through before, everything they’ve overcome and he hates to admit that Jack never would have done anything like this. He would never have called Shitty out in front of a huge crowd like he did tonight.

“I don’t even know what’s the worst of all the things I did in the last ten minutes. Calling Jack out in front of a whole kegster, assuming he has a girlfriend and therefor playing into heteronormativity or implying that he doesn’t have other friends except for us. I just...I don’t know, it’s all horrible. I said horrible things.” 

He’s rambling again, he knows he is. He can’t help it, it’s the embarrassment and nervousness rushing through his veins combined with the general tiredness and frustration about Harvard Fucking Law School.

“Shitty?” he hears Lardo ask and he stops in his tracks.

He looks at her and she puts her head to the side, pats the spot on the bed next to her.

“Sit down for a bit, okay?”

Shitty complies. He walks over to the bed and lets himself fall onto it right next to Lardo. She watches him with a concerned look in her eyes and for a moment Shitty feels exposed under her gaze. She’s always been able to look right through his facade.

Lardo takes his hand into hers again. “You fucked up. It happens. It wasn’t cool and it’s not an okay thing to do, but it happens to all of us. It will be alright. Jack will forgive you, I know he will and you know, too. So why don’t we try to figure out why you’ve been acting strange all night, huh?”

Shitty gives her a confused look. “What do you mean, ‘all night’?”

“I know you, Shitty. I know you better than anyone else, or at least that’s what you always tell me, so-”

“You do know me better than anyone else, Lardo, I didn’t lie when I said that. I really...Sorry, go on.”

“Thank you,” she said “What I wanted to say is: You’re acting weird, Shitty. I mean, I don’t want to criticize your fashion choices but you look like my dad and I just can’t get high with someone that looks like my dad. Not to mention that you are wearing a jacket, a hoodie _and_ a shirt at a kegster? And trousers? That’s just so wrong, it’s not you at all.”

Shitty looks down at himself and realizes she’s right. It’s not that he doesn’t know what he’s wearing, he put it on after all but he’s dressed like he’s going to a Harvard lecture, not like he’s going to Samwell...going home. He hasn’t even taken off his jacket.

“Also, your story about Harvard was totally off. I know you, Shitty, I know the more flamboyant you get the more insecure you are. And you were pretty much peacocking all over the place, trying to impress Dex, Chowder and Tango with your stories. Let me tell you a secret: Dex and Chowder already knew you before Harvard and Tango was already impressed by the stories he knew about you...there was no need to do that.”

It’s the most he’s ever heard Lardo talk in such a short time but he bites his tongue and doesn’t say it. He doesn’t say anything because she’s right and he knows it.

He looks up at the ceiling and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He should have known that coming back here would mean that someone would find out.

“I hate Harvard,” he presses out and closes his eyes, avoiding to look at Lardo. “I fucking hate it, okay? It’s even worse than I imagined and I just don’t...I don’t fit in. I am trying really hard, I even changed my mind about growing out the flow. I am trying to make an effort but these people just don’t...they will never be my team. They will never be my friends. I don’t think even their friends are really friends, they’re colleagues but most of them are focused on getting through law school as fast as possible to make as much money as possible as soon as they are out of school. It’s ridiculous.”

He looks at Lardo now because he feels like he needs to. He needs to see that she understands him, that she has his back on this. That she won’t scold him or tell him he isn’t trying hard enough like his father did just a few days ago. 

“I miss you guys. All of you but especially you, Lardo. And Jack. I tried to call him in the last few weeks, countless times, okay? I texted him and we skyped but he was always distracted and I get it. He has a big career ahead of him, he’s stressed out and the pressure is fucking high. But I needed him. I am not used to needing people. I am the one people ask for advice, the one people come out to...I am the one who’s needed but Jack doesn’t need me anymore. I am not even sure if he wants to be friends. I mean...I am sure he wants to but I don’t know if he can with everything that’s going on? I am not blaming him but it’s...it’s sad. It’s really fucking sad.”

He bites his lip. Talking about it upsets him even more. He likes to keep things bottled up, it’s something him and Jack have always had in common even though it doesn’t seem like it. He hates talking about his feelings because he’s used to being shut down by his family. The louder he gets, the more reactions he gets and he wants to be seen, wants to be heard.

“I just feel like he’s moving forward so fast, I can’t keep up. He’s gonna leave me behind eventually,” he mutters and bites his lip harder.

“Oh Shitty,” Lardo breathes out. “You know Jack loves you. You know that. And he wants to be friends with you, okay? You’re his best friend. I know he’s very busy right now but he’ll find a balance. He won’t leave you behind. Ever.”

She squeezes his hand a little tighter.

“If you hate Harvard that much, if you feel so lonely, why didn’t you say something? I could have come up there, there’s no exams now and classes haven’t really started yet. I would have spent the weekend with you.”

Shitty shakes his head. “I didn’t want to worry you. I wanted to give it a real try at first before complaining about it. I also felt like you had enough on your plate with moving in and then taking care of the new players.”

“It doesn’t matter, Shits. You could have called me. You can always call me. Day or Night.”

Lardo looks up at him with wide eyes. They’re glistening. Shitty takes Lardo’s other hand and squeezes it, too. They stare at each other for a few seconds. 

“You can always call me, too.”

Lardo grins. “I know. And I will. If I need to talk or have a problem, I will call you. Or maybe even if I just want to hear your stupid voice.”

“Especially then!”

“Yeah, especially then,” she smiles. “I miss you too, just so you know.”

Lardo inches forward and puts her forehead on his shoulder. Shitty lets go of her hands and moves his arms around her shoulders, tugging her against his chest. He kissed the top of her head. She sighs into his hoodie.

They hug for a while in silence, just both of them breathing in the room that they’ve spent countless hours with each other. Reading, cuddling, getting high...sometimes Shitty wonders if at any time at all something more than that could have happened. He lets go of the thought though because he can’t give in to that now. It wouldn’t work.

“I am gonna go brush my teeth,” Lardo speaks into his hoodie. “You should get ready for bed and sleep a bit. I’ll be out in a minute, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Shitty says and watches as Lardo gets up from the bed and walks over to the bathroom she shares with Bitty.

When the door closes behind her, Shitty takes his phone out of his pocket and starts typing. He wants to apologize but he also knows that Jack was probably still on the road, so he decides to text.

_I was a stupid idiot. I am so sorry. Please let me explain this tomorrow, I really need to talk to you about some things. I love you, bro._

He puts the phone down and starts undressing, taking off his jacket and the hoodie, the trousers too. When he takes off his shirt he feels something familiar settle in over his chest...the feeling of being home, of being comfortable.

He lets out a shaky breath. This is how he wants to live. No tweed jackets, no cord trousers and fancy shoes. Just this.

Lardo comes out of the bathroom and stops in the doorway, looking him up and down.

“That’s more like it,” she grins and walks over to her wardrobe.

Shitty sits down on the bed, watches as she takes off her clothes just like she always does. They’re used to each other’s presence now, he knows Lardo doesn’t care if he looks at her or not.

It’s not like he can think about anything else than her being fucking beautiful, anyway.

Lardo slips an oversized shirt over her head, one of his if he remembers correctly, turns off the light and walks over to the bed in the dark.

“Move, you naked giant.”

“Biggest on the team,” he winks and Lardo rolls her eyes.

“Whatever you tell yourself to feel better.”

Shitty moves to the other side of the bed, under the blankets and then lifts them for her. She slides in next to him, puts her head on the pillow right next to his.

For a few seconds they just look at each other, Lardo has a light smile on her face.

“You’re gonna be alright, Shits,” she says and cuddles closer to him. “It’s gonna be okay.”

She closes her eyes and Shitty does, too.

They fall asleep with their limbs tangled and their breath on each other’s skin, only the moon and the streetlights outside lighting the room.

When Shitty wakes the next morning, Lardo is already out of bed and in the shower. He sits up and reaches for his phone.

There’s a message from Jack.

_It’s alright. We’ll talk later. I need to talk to you about something, too. Sleep tight, Shitty._

Shitty smiles to himself. Lardo’s right, they’ll be okay. 


End file.
